What causes conflict in a relationship? The answer is everything. Everything has a potential to cause a conflict between you and your partner. However, the most common conflicts that couples have are money, sex, children and housework. Conflict is Healthy Conflict is inevitable. In a stable relationship, conflict occurs approximately twice a week, even in the happiest relationships. It is … [Read more...] about Tips for Better Communication with Your Partner When a Conflict Occurs
Self-sabotage is a way of engaging in self-destructive behaviors. When things are going great, such as your romantic relationship, you may do something that causes disruptions in your relationship. Sometimes, not doing anything is also considered as self-sabotaging, such as procrastinating or avoiding. There are common signs of self-sabotaging behaviors. For example; procrastinating, dwelling … [Read more...] about Why do you self-sabotage?
“The Four Horsemen”: Criticism, Contempt, Defensiveness and Stonewalling What does it mean to be a healthy couple? Healthy couples are those who intentionally engage in healthy communication styles. They respectfully solve their problems with a mutual effort and understanding, and the only way to do this is to have effective communication skills. John Gottman describes the four … [Read more...] about Four Communication Habits That Lead to Relationship Failure
“I can’t change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust my sails to always reach my destination” – Jimmy Dean Towards the end of the year, you may start thinking about change more often. If you are planning to create your new year’s resolution list, these 10 steps may help you to change something about yourself, your behavior, thoughts or emotions. When the focus is on … [Read more...] about Change is Possible with 10 Steps
The problem is the problem; the person is not the problem - Michael White & David Epston This is my favorite quote and a huge part of my therapeutic philosophy. Michael White and David Epston are founders of Narrative Therapy which is an evidence-based therapeutic approach and basically suggests “we are the stories that we tell ourselves”. Language matters. How we talk to ourselves … [Read more...] about You Are Not Your Problems?
I am frequently asked, “What happens in sex therapy?” and I appreciate your curiosity. My simple answer to this question is “We talk about your sex and sexuality”. In fact, “I ask questions and you answer, and you ask questions and I answer” is reflecting what exactly is happening in sex therapy. Each sex therapist is different than each other based on their academic background, experiences … [Read more...] about What Happens in Sex Therapy?