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Elvan Kama Kurtz

Top 5 Most Common Thinking Errors

January 20, 2020 by Elvan Kama Kurtz Leave a Comment

“Thinking errors” or “cognitive distortions” are extremely common patterns of thinking that every single person engages in. Some of us engage in these distorted ways of thinking daily, while others may only find themselves doing this when stressed. Thinking errors are completely normal and everyone has them but when they are too frequent or too intense, they can contribute to a problem such as … [Read more...] about Top 5 Most Common Thinking Errors

Filed Under: Anxiety, Depression

Forgiveness and the Barrier of Blame

January 20, 2020 by Elvan Kama Kurtz Leave a Comment

“Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it” – RUMI             I wrote this blog for those who want to forgive and are ready to do so. If you are not ready to forgive or even to process what has happened, that is okay too. It’s not yet the right time for you to read this blog. When someone breaches your … [Read more...] about Forgiveness and the Barrier of Blame

Filed Under: Divorce & Adjustment, Grief and Loss

The Structure of Healthy Relationships

December 27, 2019 by Elvan Kama Kurtz Leave a Comment

A healthy relationship is a loving relationship. Love is a deep and vital emotion that satisfies certain needs, coupled with caring for and acceptance of the beloved and resulting in an intimate relationship. When I use the word “love” in this blog, I want you to think of “romantic love”. Often, I think of a relationship as a house - if you are in a relationship, you have a house. It may be … [Read more...] about The Structure of Healthy Relationships

Filed Under: Couples Communication

Red Flag Behaviors in Relationships That are Often Misinterpreted as Love

December 27, 2019 by Elvan Kama Kurtz Leave a Comment

In a therapy session, I clarify what is not love more frequently than what love is. Once you get familiar with common misinterpretations of love, recognizing romantic love is easier. Identifying red flag behaviors early on your relationship, is going to help you build healthy relationships. Have you ever heard the word “limerence”? Limerence is often described as the altered state of mind when … [Read more...] about Red Flag Behaviors in Relationships That are Often Misinterpreted as Love

Filed Under: Abusive Relationships

Tips for Better Communication with Your Partner When a Conflict Occurs

December 12, 2019 by Elvan Kama Kurtz Leave a Comment

What causes conflict in a relationship? The answer is everything. Everything has a potential to cause a conflict between you and your partner. However, the most common conflicts that couples have are money, sex, children and housework. Conflict is Healthy Conflict is inevitable. In a stable relationship, conflict occurs approximately twice a week, even in the happiest relationships. It is … [Read more...] about Tips for Better Communication with Your Partner When a Conflict Occurs

Filed Under: Couples Communication

Why do you self-sabotage?

December 8, 2019 by Elvan Kama Kurtz Leave a Comment

Self-sabotage is a way of engaging in self-destructive behaviors. When things are going great, such as your romantic relationship, you may do something that causes disruptions in your relationship. Sometimes, not doing anything is also considered as self-sabotaging, such as procrastinating or avoiding. There are common signs of self-sabotaging behaviors. For example; procrastinating, dwelling … [Read more...] about Why do you self-sabotage?

Filed Under: Couples Communication

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