The problem is the problem; the person is not the problem - Michael White & David Epston This is my favorite quote and a huge part of my therapeutic philosophy. Michael White and David Epston are founders of Narrative Therapy which is an evidence-based therapeutic approach and basically suggests “we are the stories that we tell ourselves”. Language matters. How we talk to ourselves … [Read more...] about You Are Not Your Problems?
I am frequently asked, “What happens in sex therapy?” and I appreciate your curiosity. My simple answer to this question is “We talk about your sex and sexuality”. In fact, “I ask questions and you answer, and you ask questions and I answer” is reflecting what exactly is happening in sex therapy. Each sex therapist is different than each other based on their academic background, experiences … [Read more...] about What Happens in Sex Therapy?
There are many different forms of BDSM contracts. For example, in the master/slave contract the slave gives up all the rights and decision-making power to the master. You are welcome to come up with your own contract that best serves your needs. I advocate this safe sex contract, in which partners feel heard, understood, and trusted. Here is one example of a safe sex contract for those wanting to … [Read more...] about Safe Sex Contract
“Smooth divorce”, “amicable divorce”, “friendly divorce” are the common descriptions to define a “healthy divorce”. Much of the literature on divorce focuses on a “child friendly” divorce and they frequently mention the importance of “prioritizing your child’s needs”. On the other hand, “parent-friendly” divorce allows you to prioritize your parental needs for a healthier co-parenting process. … [Read more...] about Why You Should Choose Parent Friendly Divorce Over Child Friendly Divorce
Shame, Guilt, Embarrassment and Fear Anger, resentment, frustration, sadness and many other emotions are extremely important to pay attention to when they come up in our romantic relationships. This post isn’t about anger, and often anger is a secondary emotion; which means there is mostly another emotion, a primary emotion, behind your anger that makes you feel angry. Shame, guilt, embarrassment … [Read more...] about How Four Big Emotions Affect Our Sexual Wellbeing?
What is considered BDSM depends on you and your partner. For your reference, I collected BDSM forms into 4 main categories. If you need more information and/or the full BDSM Checklist, please consult with your therapist. 1. External Stimulation: Often, partners use an external stimulation to spice things up. This stimulation is not only limited to sex toys such as vibrators, or lubricants, but … [Read more...] about 4 Main Categories of BDSM