“The Four Horsemen”: Criticism, Contempt, Defensiveness and Stonewalling What does it mean to be a healthy couple? Healthy couples are those who intentionally engage in healthy communication styles. They respectfully solve their problems with a mutual effort and understanding, and the only way to do this is to have effective communication skills. John Gottman describes the four … [Read more...] about Four Communication Habits That Lead to Relationship Failure
Change is Possible with 10 Steps
“I can’t change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust my sails to always reach my destination” – Jimmy Dean Towards the end of the year, you may start thinking about change more often. If you are planning to create your new year’s resolution list, these 10 steps may help you to change something about yourself, your behavior, thoughts or emotions. When the focus is on … [Read more...] about Change is Possible with 10 Steps
You Are Not Your Problems?
The problem is the problem; the person is not the problem - Michael White & David Epston This is my favorite quote and a huge part of my therapeutic philosophy. Michael White and David Epston are founders of Narrative Therapy which is an evidence-based therapeutic approach and basically suggests “we are the stories that we tell ourselves”. Language matters. How we talk to ourselves … [Read more...] about You Are Not Your Problems?
What Happens in Sex Therapy?
I am frequently asked, “What happens in sex therapy?” and I appreciate your curiosity. My simple answer to this question is “We talk about your sex and sexuality”. In fact, “I ask questions and you answer, and you ask questions and I answer” is reflecting what exactly is happening in sex therapy. Each sex therapist is different than each other based on their academic background, experiences … [Read more...] about What Happens in Sex Therapy?
Safe Sex Contract
There are many different forms of BDSM contracts. For example, in the master/slave contract the slave gives up all the rights and decision-making power to the master. You are welcome to come up with your own contract that best serves your needs. I advocate this safe sex contract, in which partners feel heard, understood, and trusted. Here is one example of a safe sex contract for those wanting to … [Read more...] about Safe Sex Contract
Why You Should Choose Parent Friendly Divorce Over Child Friendly Divorce
“Smooth divorce”, “amicable divorce”, “friendly divorce” are the common descriptions to define a “healthy divorce”. Much of the literature on divorce focuses on a “child friendly” divorce and they frequently mention the importance of “prioritizing your child’s needs”. On the other hand, “parent-friendly” divorce allows you to prioritize your parental needs for a healthier co-parenting process. … [Read more...] about Why You Should Choose Parent Friendly Divorce Over Child Friendly Divorce