“The Four Horsemen”: Criticism, Contempt, Defensiveness and Stonewalling What does it mean to be a healthy couple? Healthy couples are those who intentionally engage in healthy communication styles. They respectfully solve their problems with a mutual effort and understanding, and the only way to do this is to have effective communication skills. John Gottman describes the four … [Read more...] about Four Communication Habits That Lead to Relationship Failure
Narcissists tend to behave in a horrible yet predictable pattern when in conflict with another (especially a relationship partner). The narcissist will twist reality to weave a distorted story of their “victim” status and manipulate others in to believing that the partner/ex-partner was an abuser. The typical pattern looks like this: The Narcissist is living in deep levels of denial … [Read more...] about Why & How Narcissists Love to Play the Victim
“I can’t change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust my sails to always reach my destination” – Jimmy Dean Towards the end of the year, you may start thinking about change more often. If you are planning to create your new year’s resolution list, these 10 steps may help you to change something about yourself, your behavior, thoughts or emotions. When the focus is on … [Read more...] about Change is Possible with 10 Steps
The holidays are fast approaching. Even though it’s known as a joyous time of year, for many people the holidays are a source of anxiety. The holidays can produce a lot of pressure. Some common issues that surface due to the holidays are: Burnout from overcommitting to all of the holiday events Overwhelm and stress from trying to create the perfect holiday experience Emotional … [Read more...] about Improving your Boundaries this Holiday Season: Just Say No.
The problem is the problem; the person is not the problem - Michael White & David Epston This is my favorite quote and a huge part of my therapeutic philosophy. Michael White and David Epston are founders of Narrative Therapy which is an evidence-based therapeutic approach and basically suggests “we are the stories that we tell ourselves”. Language matters. How we talk to ourselves … [Read more...] about You Are Not Your Problems?
I am frequently asked, “What happens in sex therapy?” and I appreciate your curiosity. My simple answer to this question is “We talk about your sex and sexuality”. In fact, “I ask questions and you answer, and you ask questions and I answer” is reflecting what exactly is happening in sex therapy. Each sex therapist is different than each other based on their academic background, experiences … [Read more...] about What Happens in Sex Therapy?