A healthy relationship is a loving relationship. Love is a deep and vital emotion that satisfies certain needs, coupled with caring for and acceptance of the beloved and resulting in an intimate relationship. When I use the word “love” in this blog, I want you to think of “romantic love”. Often, I think of a relationship as a house - if you are in a relationship, you have a house. It may be … [Read more...] about The Structure of Healthy Relationships
What causes conflict in a relationship? The answer is everything. Everything has a potential to cause a conflict between you and your partner. However, the most common conflicts that couples have are money, sex, children and housework. Conflict is Healthy Conflict is inevitable. In a stable relationship, conflict occurs approximately twice a week, even in the happiest relationships. It is … [Read more...] about Tips for Better Communication with Your Partner When a Conflict Occurs
Self-sabotage is a way of engaging in self-destructive behaviors. When things are going great, such as your romantic relationship, you may do something that causes disruptions in your relationship. Sometimes, not doing anything is also considered as self-sabotaging, such as procrastinating or avoiding. There are common signs of self-sabotaging behaviors. For example; procrastinating, dwelling … [Read more...] about Why do you self-sabotage?
“The Four Horsemen”: Criticism, Contempt, Defensiveness and Stonewalling What does it mean to be a healthy couple? Healthy couples are those who intentionally engage in healthy communication styles. They respectfully solve their problems with a mutual effort and understanding, and the only way to do this is to have effective communication skills. John Gottman describes the four … [Read more...] about Four Communication Habits That Lead to Relationship Failure
There are many different forms of BDSM contracts. For example, in the master/slave contract the slave gives up all the rights and decision-making power to the master. You are welcome to come up with your own contract that best serves your needs. I advocate this safe sex contract, in which partners feel heard, understood, and trusted. Here is one example of a safe sex contract for those wanting to … [Read more...] about Safe Sex Contract
Shame, Guilt, Embarrassment and Fear Anger, resentment, frustration, sadness and many other emotions are extremely important to pay attention to when they come up in our romantic relationships. This post isn’t about anger, and often anger is a secondary emotion; which means there is mostly another emotion, a primary emotion, behind your anger that makes you feel angry. Shame, guilt, embarrassment … [Read more...] about How Four Big Emotions Affect Our Sexual Wellbeing?