Communication is one of the most common reasons couples seek therapy. It can feel like a never-ending journey to be effectively understood by others and to better understand our partners. Unfortunately, things get in the way of understanding and being understood, in the form of unhelpful types of communication. Especially when you add kids into the equation. Lack of sleep, busy schedules, and the … [Read more...] about Navigating Communication and Parenting in a Relationship: The Four Horseman, Parenting, and Maintaining a Loving Relationship
We, almost always, expect reciprocity and fairness in our romantic relationships. We often expect loyalty as a form of repayment for our giving. If we have been wronged, we probably expect a resolution. Our actions towards others are determined by what we have received from them and by what we have given to them. In your romantic relationship, when your sense of fairness is being triggered, your … [Read more...] about Fairness in Romantic Relationships: Why Does Resentment Occur and How Can You Talk About It?
4 Things to Do to Prevent Conflict in Romantic Relationships John Gottman defines a gridlock issue as a conflict where a couple argues about the same issue frequently. For Gottman, these are the conversations where maintaining a dialogue is often challenging and a conversation can easily turn into an argument. Negative emotions such as anger, resentment or betrayal can easily be escalated, and … [Read more...] about How Can You Move the Communication from Gridlock to Dialogue?
We spend countless hours taking care of things in our lives that we depend on to keep things running smoothly. Like the saying “prevention is better than the cure”. We keep up on things that need “maintenance”, oil changes, yearly check-ups, therapy, but how often do we look under the hood of our marriage? We hear a knocking in our car and we bring it right in, but often, we ignore the clunks and … [Read more...] about Relationship Tune-Up: Making Relationship Maintenance a Priority
Emotional safety leads to safe conversations. When you know that you can share anything with your partner because they will not judge or criticize you, the quality of your romantic relationship will increase significantly. Similarly, if you have a relationship competency skill, you will provide that emotional safety for your partner and they will be easily able to share their world with you. … [Read more...] about Guidelines for Safe Conversations: Learn to Improve Your Relationship Competency with These 5 Conversation Tips
People pleasing is a learned behavior. Often, it is treated as a trauma response. In some families or cultures, where the traditional gender roles are favored, females may be expected to be socialized to please their family members and mainly their spouses. This learned response is a result of receiving conditional love in childhood. Starting from a young age, a child learns that they are … [Read more...] about How Are People Pleasing and Conditional Love Related?