People pleasing is a learned behavior. Often, it is treated as a trauma response. In some families or cultures, where the traditional gender roles are favored, females may be expected to be socialized to please their family members and mainly their spouses. This learned response is a result of receiving conditional love in childhood. Starting from a young age, a child learns that they are … [Read more...] about How Are People Pleasing and Conditional Love Related?
There are different levels of things not going well in a relationship during quarantine. On one end of the spectrum we have couples who are for most of the time getting along with only a minor dispute occasionally. Other couples are being tested by the time in quarantine and are noticing more frequent fighting, or that their fighting is more intense. While this is concerning, it can be managed and … [Read more...] about When Living Together Isn’t Going Well During Quarantine
A healthy relationship is a loving relationship. Love is a deep and vital emotion that satisfies certain needs, coupled with caring for and acceptance of the beloved and resulting in an intimate relationship. When I use the word “love” in this blog, I want you to think of “romantic love”. Often, I think of a relationship as a house - if you are in a relationship, you have a house. It may be … [Read more...] about The Structure of Healthy Relationships
What causes conflict in a relationship? The answer is everything. Everything has a potential to cause a conflict between you and your partner. However, the most common conflicts that couples have are money, sex, children and housework. Conflict is Healthy Conflict is inevitable. In a stable relationship, conflict occurs approximately twice a week, even in the happiest relationships. It is … [Read more...] about Tips for Better Communication with Your Partner When a Conflict Occurs
Self-sabotage is a way of engaging in self-destructive behaviors. When things are going great, such as your romantic relationship, you may do something that causes disruptions in your relationship. Sometimes, not doing anything is also considered as self-sabotaging, such as procrastinating or avoiding. There are common signs of self-sabotaging behaviors. For example; procrastinating, dwelling … [Read more...] about Why do you self-sabotage?
“The Four Horsemen”: Criticism, Contempt, Defensiveness and Stonewalling What does it mean to be a healthy couple? Healthy couples are those who intentionally engage in healthy communication styles. They respectfully solve their problems with a mutual effort and understanding, and the only way to do this is to have effective communication skills. John Gottman describes the four … [Read more...] about Four Communication Habits That Lead to Relationship Failure