4 Things to Do to Prevent Conflict in Romantic Relationships John Gottman defines a gridlock issue as a conflict where a couple argues about the same issue frequently. For Gottman, these are the conversations where maintaining a dialogue is often challenging and a conversation can easily turn into an argument. Negative emotions such as anger, resentment or betrayal can easily be escalated, and … [Read more...] about How Can You Move the Communication from Gridlock to Dialogue?
We spend countless hours taking care of things in our lives that we depend on to keep things running smoothly. Like the saying “prevention is better than the cure”. We keep up on things that need “maintenance”, oil changes, yearly check-ups, therapy, but how often do we look under the hood of our marriage? We hear a knocking in our car and we bring it right in, but often, we ignore the clunks and … [Read more...] about Relationship Tune-Up: Making Relationship Maintenance a Priority
Emotional safety leads to safe conversations. When you know that you can share anything with your partner because they will not judge or criticize you, the quality of your romantic relationship will increase significantly. Similarly, if you have a relationship competency skill, you will provide that emotional safety for your partner and they will be easily able to share their world with you. … [Read more...] about Guidelines for Safe Conversations: Learn to Improve Your Relationship Competency with These 5 Conversation Tips
People pleasing is a learned behavior. Often, it is treated as a trauma response. In some families or cultures, where the traditional gender roles are favored, females may be expected to be socialized to please their family members and mainly their spouses. This learned response is a result of receiving conditional love in childhood. Starting from a young age, a child learns that they are … [Read more...] about How Are People Pleasing and Conditional Love Related?
There are different levels of things not going well in a relationship during quarantine. On one end of the spectrum we have couples who are for most of the time getting along with only a minor dispute occasionally. Other couples are being tested by the time in quarantine and are noticing more frequent fighting, or that their fighting is more intense. While this is concerning, it can be managed and … [Read more...] about When Living Together Isn’t Going Well During Quarantine
A healthy relationship is a loving relationship. Love is a deep and vital emotion that satisfies certain needs, coupled with caring for and acceptance of the beloved and resulting in an intimate relationship. When I use the word “love” in this blog, I want you to think of “romantic love”. Often, I think of a relationship as a house - if you are in a relationship, you have a house. It may be … [Read more...] about The Structure of Healthy Relationships