Self-sabotage is a way of engaging in self-destructive behaviors. When things are going great, such as your romantic relationship, you may do something that causes disruptions in your relationship. Sometimes, not doing anything is also considered as self-sabotaging, such as procrastinating or avoiding. There are common signs of self-sabotaging behaviors. For example; procrastinating, dwelling … [Read more...] about Why do you self-sabotage?
“The Four Horsemen”: Criticism, Contempt, Defensiveness and Stonewalling What does it mean to be a healthy couple? Healthy couples are those who intentionally engage in healthy communication styles. They respectfully solve their problems with a mutual effort and understanding, and the only way to do this is to have effective communication skills. John Gottman describes the four … [Read more...] about Four Communication Habits That Lead to Relationship Failure
There are many different forms of BDSM contracts. For example, in the master/slave contract the slave gives up all the rights and decision-making power to the master. You are welcome to come up with your own contract that best serves your needs. I advocate this safe sex contract, in which partners feel heard, understood, and trusted. Here is one example of a safe sex contract for those wanting to … [Read more...] about Safe Sex Contract
Shame, Guilt, Embarrassment and Fear Anger, resentment, frustration, sadness and many other emotions are extremely important to pay attention to when they come up in our romantic relationships. This post isn’t about anger, and often anger is a secondary emotion; which means there is mostly another emotion, a primary emotion, behind your anger that makes you feel angry. Shame, guilt, embarrassment … [Read more...] about How Four Big Emotions Affect Our Sexual Wellbeing?
Its that time of the year again—vacation time! We all know that vacations can be a great way to recharge ourselves…but they can also recharge our relationship. Regardless of budget I highly recommend that couples take at least one vacation a year together (and by together, I mean just the two of you—no extended family or with friends). Here is why vacations can be so helpful for couples: … [Read more...] about The Importance of Vacations for Couples
A “Business of Marriage” meeting is an intentionally scheduled sit-down talk with your partner to review important topics such as finances, career challenges, childcare or pet care matters, upcoming visit or trips and even an emotional check-in. Ideally the meeting will happen on a weekly basis, is scheduled ahead of time, and can be as long as or as short … [Read more...] about 5 Benefits of a “Business of Marriage” Weekly Meeting