New Years can feel like a real downer if you’re still grieving the loss of a marriage or a long-term relationship (and for those of you no longer grieving that loss and are embracing your new life-good for you!). This blog is for those who are newly single who are struggling with their new single status. Consider these possible New Years goals and try to identify one that you would like to try:
- Try a New Hobby: If you’re newly single you’re probably finding that you have a lot more time (and likely energy if the relationship was particularly draining). Take this additional time and energy and use it for a new hobby—or an old one that you haven’t done in a long time. Some suggestions are: take an art class (photography, painting, pottery, etc.), learn a new language, join a sports team and train for an event (running club, a group fitness gym, rock climbing gym, etc.), volunteer for a cause that you feel strongly about, etc.
- Advance Your Career: More time and energy could finally mean making that long desired career move or career change you’ve been pining after. This could mean applying for that dream job in another state or country (which your ex was against before…), going back to school, getting additional experience or training, etc.
- Plan Your Dream Vacation: You know the trip I’m referring to…the trip that your ex never wanted to go on because they complained about the cost, the area, the travel time required, the type of lodging, etc. Starting saving and planning and take the trip THIS year.
- Redesign Your Home: This can be an especially important goal if you were married or living with your partner for an extended period of time. If you are on a budget this goal is still achievable. Some budget friendly suggestions are: sell any furniture or items that have your ex’s bad juju and use the new proceeds to buy something else, rearrange the existing furniture and decorations, shop smartly and cheaply at thrift shops or estate sales, learn to paint, etc. If you are not restricted by budget and really want to make some major renovations or changes—go for it! If you are in a new home this year due to a break-up focus on making the space feel like yours.
- Get Financially in Shape: Most people going through the end of a marriage or long-term relationship in which you lived with your partner will take a financial hit. Once your divorce is finalized or all of your financial accounts have been separated I highly recommend meeting with a financial planner. You will want to make a plan to pay down any debt, contribute to your savings and emergency funds, and determine how much “fun” money you have to play around with.
Not sure where to start? Or are still so depressed and stuck in the grief you cannot think about next steps? Try counseling to help you process the end of the relationship and to help you get unstuck.